It’s unfortunate that some troubled teens originate from families that have a parent serving in the military. Like any disruption in the regular family structure, a parent absent due to long term military service is still not there to help their troubled teen. There are studies that show that children and teens do better with two parents in the house. Single parent households have to work twice as hard as two parent families. The two parent arrangement allows parents to pick up when their counterpart is not available. It is difficult for parents to keep the lines of communication open when they are gone for extended periods of time. FaceTime has been a great way for families to stay in touch, but not as good as being there in person.
When dealing with a troubled and defiant teen, it’s all hands on deck. Grandparents will often times step in when parents are not able to. As mentioned above, when a parent is off serving their country a grandparent can be present and fill the void. While there is not substitute for a missing parent, grandpa or grandma can be a pretty close second. It is critical that communication between the parents and grandparents is organized and in sync. Teens, especially rowdy out of control teens will see any weakness in the family plan and exploit it. They can easily manipulate parents against each other, this also includes grandparents.
It is normal to look at other families and wonder why their family is perfect and their children are doing so well. Experience has shown that there really is no such thing as the “perfect family”. The truth is, every family is struggling with something. Some hide it better than others, but every family has their own unique set of problems. There are just as many troubled, out of control teens, from “perfect families” as there are from dysfunctional families. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter what kind of family the teen comes from. The most important piece of the equation is what kind of help parents can find for the teen