Teens And Step Families

With the increase of divorce in our country today there are more and more blended families. Teens and step families do not always work out so well. There are many dynamics that play into the teen and their new family. Most teens that are forced to move into another family's home will need an adjustment period. The teen may be feeling resentment because they liked things the way they were before their parents split up. They may not have seen the anguish the parents were going through prior to the divorce.

Most teens are fairly self consumed and will more than likely have a desire to take care of their own needs. This can make the difficult situation unbearable for everyone. There is really nothing easy about mixing teens and step families. It is important for everyone to remember that they are all making adjustments and struggling. They all need to be patient with each other.

Teens and Step Families and Counseling

It may be necessary for teens and step families to seek professional help. Counseling may seem a little drastic, but it may be just what the family needs as they transition into their new situation. Sometime a person that is on the outside looking in will be more objective. The counseling will require that all participants engage in the process or it will not be effective. For example if the parents are trying to make things work and some of the children are not, the counseling will probably be a waste of time and money.

Counselors are good and can be very helpful, but only if they have willing participants. To find a family counselor a good place to start is with your family physician. He may know a good therapist or will tell you how to find a good one in your area.

Defiant Teens and Step Families

If a teen feels like they have been abandoned through the divorce process they may begin to display some defiant tendencies. The divorce may not even be the problem but is a good excuse for the teen to begin breaking family rules.

When two large families combine there may also be an increased risk for the teen to slip through the cracks. In other words they may not be monitored as much as they have been. Another factor is different parenting styles. When the teen is put in a house with a very strict parent the may rebel saying, "You are not my Dad".

This can especially happen when the teen has had a lot of freedom in their previous family setting. This doesn't mean that either parenting style is right or wrong. Basically when teens and step families are combined it is important to pay attention to how the teens are adjusting.

Boot Camps and Divorced Parents

One thing you have to keep in mind if you are a divorced parent is if the other parent is okay with the boot camp. There has been many issues in the past where one spouse was left in the dark and later pulled their child out of the boot camp because they did not approve. Always get permission and make sure the other parent is on board before even considering sending your defiant teen to a boot camp or boarding school.